Boy, I see all these non-music threads of mine are going over like a fart in church. Oh well. Here's my list:
10- Soccer. Or Volleyball. Or Kickball. Not that these weren't fun to play at the time, but I can't help but think about how much better my life might be if, instead of learning how to play these worthless sports, gym teachers spent more time showing me how to throw a football, catch a football, tackle, shoot a 3-pointer in basketball, hit a fastball, throw a fastball. I realize not everyone can be a pro athlete, but if they are going to teach sports in school, at least teach the ones you can make some money with.
9-Anything from art class. I guess art class was worth it for the .02% of kids who grew up to be artists or art teachers. But for the other 99.08% of kids, I see art class as a waste of time. Or maybe I'm just an asshole.
8-Bones. Not that its necessarily worthless to learn about bones, but memorizing each bone name was kinda a waste. I mean, if you break your leg and call 911, is it really that important to know if you broke your tibia or fibula? no. You tell them you broke your leg and they will send the medics out to determine which bone was broken. Although, I will admit, knowing that a 4 letter arm bone is ulna has come in handy for doing crossword puzzles.
7- The Explorers. I dunno, maybe it is worthwhile to know who Columbus was since we have a holiday for him (not most people, but at least you'll know why your bank and post office are closed on the 2nd Monday of October). Cortez was interesting, but who cares in the real world. Pizzaro conquered all of South America after one battle with the Incas. Maybe interesting to know, but it says more about what pussies the Incas must've been than anything about Pizzaro himself. The rest? Balboa, Coronado, De Soto.... I forget the rest, but I know I spent countless classroom hours hearing about them....who cares? I can best sum it up paraphrasing from "Seinfeld": "What did De Soto do? Discovered the Mississippi river? Like NOBODY would've found it if not for him!"
6-Greek And Roman Gods. They were made up. Why not a three week lesson on my imaginary friend Porfie Altermorano?
5-Japanese And/or Indian Culture. Sure, knowing what an obi or sari is has help me with my crossword puzzles, but pointless otherwise. Should've spent more time with Mexican culture and ANY time on Canadian culture. It's embarrassing that Kim can probably name more US Presidents than all of us combined could likely name any Canadian Prime Ministers.
4-How To Play The Recorder. I don't know about you guys, but in 4th grade, everyone had to learn to play the recorder. If you don't know, it's basically a flute for retarded people. Only slightly more difficult to learn to play than a kazoo. Yeah, now we can all play "Hot Cross Buns" together!
3-The Planet Pluto. I went to school from 1977-1991 and everything I learned about Pluto turned out to be wrong. Might as well spent that time learning about the Disney Character Pluto.
2-French. Admittedly, this one was my fault. I had the choice of learning French, Spanish or German. We ALL should have HAD to learn Spanish. I took 3 years of French and the only thing I remember is "Je ne parles pas de Francias" (I don't speak French). My thinking was that I would never go to Germany, Mexico or Spain, but I might go to Quebec, Canada where they speak French. Dumb on my part, because we all now know that all the cool people in Canada live in Ontario!
1-Cursive. I knew writing in cursive was pointless at the time and I turned out to be correct. Yeah, learn how to sign your autograph in cursive in case you become famous, but everything else is better read in print.
If I would have kids, I'd either home school or sen them to private school so they would actually learn something. Everything I ever learned that was useful, I either learned from my parents, community college (Seriously, they had some good teachers there!), apprentice school or work. Public school sucked.
