VH1's Top 40 Least Metal Moments

[Pete]

Has anyone seen this? I caught a little of it. Here's the list.
40 ALICE COOPER MAKES A COMP USA COMMERCIAL
39 GENE SIMMONS MANAGES LIZA MINELLI
38 AVRIL PERFORMS "FUEL" AT METALLICA ICON
37 ADAM CURRY HOSTS HEADBANGER'S BALL
36 FAITH NO MORE's JIM MARTIN GROWS PUMPKINS
35 JOE PERRY HOCKS HOT SAUCE ON EMERIL
34 BRUCE DICKINSON FENCING/WRITES A NOVEL
33 MICHAEL BOLTON & KISS TEAM UP FOR "FOREVER"
32 AUTOGRAPH'S STEVE PLUNKETT WRITES 7TH HEAVEN'S OPENING THEME
31 VINCE NEIL STARS ON THE SURREAL LIFE
30 LEMMY WRITES MAN-ADVICE FOR JANE MAGAZINE
29 BON JOVI CUTS HIS HAIR
28 RONNIE KEEL GOES COUNTRY/BECOMES RONNIE LEE KEEL
27 PUFFY & PAGE TEAM UP FOR "COME WITH ME"
26 RATT HIRE UNCLE MILTY FOR THEIR VIDEOS
25 MOTLEY CRUE HIRES JOHN CORABI, DITCHES VINCE NEIL
24 MARIAH DOES DEF LEPPARD'S "BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTBREAK"
23 METAL ORCHESTRAS - METALLICA, SCORPIONS, DEEP PURPLE
22 EUROPE
21 BON SCOTT PLAYS THE RECORDER
20 KISS GOES DISCO WITH "I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU"
19 KIP WINGER POSES FULLY CLOTHED IN SUITS FOR PLAYGIRL
18 ALICE COOPER TRADES IN HIS BAD HABITS FOR GOLFING
17 TICO TORRES STARTS BABY CLOTHES LINE
16 TED NUGENT FORMS DAMN YANKEES
15 VANILLA ICE GOES METAL
14 OZZY PEPSI COMMERCIAL
13 PAUL STANLEY STARS AS PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
12 NELSON
11 EXTREME'S GARY CHERONE BECOMES VAN HALEN'S SINGER
10 MICHAEL BOLTON EARLY METAL CAREER
9 KIP WINGER BALLERINA
8 METALLICA CUTS THEIR HAIR
7 SHERYL CROW COVERS "SWEET CHILD O' MINE"
6 JETHRO TULL WINS THE FIRST EVER METAL GRAMMY
5 PAT BOONE GOES METAL FOR AN ALBUM OF METAL CLASSICS
4 HEADBANGER'S BALL CANCELLED
3 CELINE DION COVERS AC/DC AT VH1 DIVAS LAS VEGAS
2 OZZY GOES TO WASHINGTON TO MEET BUSH
1 VINCE NEIL LEADS GIANT CHICKEN DANCE

[Scott]

I didn't see it, so I can't really comment.


Piss on it, I will anyway.


First of all, most of these people aren't "Metal" anyway...so it should be Least Rock-And-Roll Moments.


35 JOE PERRY HOCKS HOT SAUCE ON EMERIL


So? Musicians aren't supposed to do ANYTHING besides music? I thought it was entertaining. (I also thought it was cool when Sammy Hagar was on Emeril awhile back.) How utterly "un-Metal" of Joe.

29 BON JOVI CUTS HIS HAIR
8 METALLICA CUTS THEIR HAIR

Who gives a f*ck? Hair has nothing to do with talent. Ever hear of a guy named Rob Halford? He doesn't even have any hair. And if Rob ain't "Metal"...then no one is.

18 ALICE COOPER TRADES IN HIS BAD HABITS FOR GOLFING

Cooper is one of the coolest people mentioned. So he likes to play golf...and that somehow makes him uncool? F*ck off.

11 EXTREME'S GARY CHERONE BECOMES VAN HALEN'S SINGER

Van Halen needs a frontman. So they go out and hire the best available un-employed singer out there. How stupid! The fact that nobody, including the "brothers", gave the man a chance should be on the list.

6 JETHRO TULL WINS THE FIRST EVER METAL GRAMMY


Yeah...but who was their competition?

1 VINCE NEIL LEADS GIANT CHICKEN DANCE

This was number one? I saw this video...okay, it was funny, and perhaps a little sad. But...the number one "Least Metal Moment"? You know what? I saw a guy having fun and not taking himself too seriously. What the hell is wrong with that?


I'll quit now. Thanks, that was fun.

[sandi]

You go Scott

[Jesse]

I can't let Scott have all the fun!



38 AVRIL PERFORMS "FUEL" AT METALLICA ICON Avril IS Metal as far as I'm concerned. The fact that her CDs and album are only bought by teeny-bopper girls is NOT a testament to her music being "Bubblegum", but rather a testament that teeny bopper girls are finally starting to "get it" as ar as understanding that music is not about dancing and lipsyncing.
28 RONNIE KEEL GOES COUNTRY/BECOMES RONNIE LEE KEEL Has anyone paid attention to Country music lately? Watch their videos some time, you got hot, scantily clad gals, hot lead guitar playing, the band members all have long hair, leather pants and cowboys boots......very similar to stereotypical 80's Metal. BTW_Ron Keel is currently in a Southern rock-ish band call Iron Horse
27 PUFFY & PAGE TEAM UP FOR "COME WITH ME" Ok, yeah, that was pretty lame
25 MOTLEY CRUE HIRES JOHN CORABI, DITCHES VINCE NEIL Why? A case could be made that bringing back Vince Neil was the LMM.
24 MARIAH DOES DEF LEPPARD'S "BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTBREAK" Give her credit for trying.
23 METAL ORCHESTRAS - METALLICA, SCORPIONS, DEEP PURPLE Uh, HELLO! Did it ever occur to you dipshits that much metal, from Deep Purple to Iron Maiden is full of classical influence and similarities? These gotta be the same f*ckheads who thought Iron Maiden sold out just cuz they dared to use some synths on their albums
22 EUROPE What, the band? If "Wings Of Tomorrow" ain't Metal, I guess I don't know what is
20 KISS GOES DISCO WITH "I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU" I like the song, to me, it doesn't sound nearly as "Disco" as critics advertise it to be.
18 ALICE COOPER TRADES IN HIS BAD HABITS FOR GOLFING I guess you assholes would rather he be dead from his bad habits?
16 TED NUGENT FORMS DAMN YANKEES Despite their hit ballads, DY had some pretty metal moments.
12 NELSON Easy to look back a criticize them now, but I recall them being a bresh of fresh air on top 40 stations who couldn't get enough of Milli Vanilli and New Kids On The Block.
11 EXTREME'S GARY CHERONE BECOMES VAN HALEN'S SINGER What Scott said
10 MICHAEL BOLTON EARLY METAL CAREER So, we're gonna discredit his early work, just cuz he sings Diane Warren and Desmond Child songs now, huh? Hey, guess what? So does Aerosmith, should we discredit their early work too? How about Rod Stewart? Should we forget all his work with Faces just because he sings goofy pop standards from the 1940's now? My word, these people are a bunch of dumb m*th*rf*ck*rs!
8 METALLICA CUTS THEIR HAIR I know what Scott said and I do kinda agree that long hair/short hair does not make one metal or not metal, but in this case, Metallica cutting their hair did happen to coincide with them starting to suck.
6 JETHRO TULL WINS THE FIRST EVER METAL GRAMMY This is called selective memory. Jethro Tull did beat out Metallica for a Grammy in 1989 and much of the Metal world was upset, BUT the Grammy was for Best performance by a Hard Rock or Metal act. Ok, so maybe Jethro Tull isn't Metal in the same sense that Metallica is, but I would certainly qualify them as Hard Rock and THAT WAS WHAT THE GRAMMY WAS FOR!
5 PAT BOONE GOES METAL FOR AN ALBUM OF METAL CLASSICS To this day, I like that album and appreciate what Pat was trying to do. He was trying to get his fans to realize that Metal wasn't all that bad and he was trying to get Metal fans to appreciate a different style of music. He actually had plans for a 2nd and 3rd album like this, but since everyone had a friggin' coniption over this one he didn't and I think we missed out on some neat shit by him not doing any followups.
4 HEADBANGER'S BALL CANCELLED That was a mercy killing. Headbangers ball wasn't really Metal for a few years befor it was cancelled.
3 CELINE DION COVERS AC/DC AT VH1 DIVAS LAS VEGAS Gotta give her credit for trying

[FunkyCanuck]

VINCE NEIL LEADS GIANT CHICKEN DANCE


Heyyy, that's pretty metal to me. And what's wrong with being on the Surreal Life? I dig Vince, don't care if he's a fat drunk now. The guy still rules!

[JaminJim]

Scott said:

I didn't see it, so I can't really comment.















6 JETHRO TULL WINS THE FIRST EVER METAL GRAMMY


Yeah...but who was their competition?

I remember that year. It was almost a tie between ZZ Top & Tull,lol.
Example of why I don't pay attention to those things. I think AC/DC was in the running? Go figure?

[Trexx]

I can take just about all that, I suppose...

But whats that rubish about Bon Scott and the recorder?

Ha!

[sammipunk]

I can definitely see how some of those can be very un-metal. Kip Winger doing ballet? Not a pretty sight. Then again, he was never really "metal" to begin with.

Oh, and this is gonna bug me. Avril's not "metal". "Sk8ter Boi" and "Master of Puppets" have absolutely nothing in common. Let's get real here. She's not pop, maybe pop-rock, probably rock. But not metal. I'm starting to think you're a sucker for a pretty face, Jesse, I'm disappointed! Yeah, she's good, but not the second coming!

[Jesse]

sammipunk said:

I can definitely see how some of those can be very un-metal. Kip Winger doing ballet? Not a pretty sight. Then again, he was never really "metal" to begin with.

Oh, and this is gonna bug me. Avril's not "metal". "Sk8ter Boi" and "Master of Puppets" have absolutely nothing in common. Let's get real here. She's not pop, maybe pop-rock, probably rock. But not metal. I'm starting to think you're a sucker for a pretty face, Jesse, I'm disappointed! Yeah, she's good, but not the second coming!

Never said she was the second coming, just said that she's Metal. Take a listen to "Losing My Grip" or "Take Me Away" or even "Unwanted", it's Metal. Maybe not metal in the sense of Iron Maiden or Metallica, but it certainly fits my definition, which, for those who don't know, is: If you can bang your head to it, it's Metal.

[Jesse]

Sorry all, I had to bring this topic back to the top for a spell as many of my friends have been talking about it recently. Interesting how they all seem to just nod in agreement and talk about this list as if this shit were the Gospel . Don't know what to say other than it really rubs me the wrong way that some people who I thought had respectable knowledge of music didn't so much as question any of these, but just went along with it like the sheep they are. Has this come up with anyone else outside the message board?

[Pete]

Jesse said:

Sorry all, I had to bring this topic back to the top for a spell as many of my friends have been talking about it recently. Interesting how they all seem to just nod in agreement and talk about this list as if this shit were the Gospel . Don't know what to say other than it really rubs me the wrong way that some people who I thought had respectable knowledge of music didn't so much as question any of these, but just went along with it like the sheep they are. Has this come up with anyone else outside the message board?

Yes. A lot of my friends jus like to repeat this kind of crap because than they sound like they have some sort of knowledge of music. Until I correct them of course.

Although, not to defend VH1 but I think even though some don't take it that way this list was presented as very tongue in cheek.

[Trexx]

Save for "Behind the Music", I don't watch all that much of Vh1. When I saw it was their list I didn't give it much creedance.

But the commercial endorsements have been a sensitive issue with myself and my buds.